Tag: trauma

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What you Need to Know About Creating a Vibrant Life: How to Contract and Expand

Last year I was dealing with some health issues, and I felt that working long days was contributing to my symptoms. After much deliberation, I reduced my hours in hopes of finding some relief and more time for rest. At first it was great. I had more time to nap, rest, and do other things that felt restorative to me.

But it wasn’t long before I started filling that free time with more “stuff.”

Before I knew it, I had eaten up all that time with classes, volunteer work, and self-imposed deadlines and projects. I was just as busy (if not more so!) than before I reduced my hours!

Bewildered, I asked myself, “how did this happen?”

It was as if part of me could not STAND having time to be quiet and relax. There was an inherent guilt to resting, to having time that wasn’t “productive.”

All over again, I ended up giving away all of myself, to the point where it wasn’t sustainable.

It wasn’t my job that was draining me, it was my own inability to save a little of my power for ME.

You could even say that I was opening my heart TOO MUCH.

My life was missing a natural oscillation that is present in all of nature, that play of intensity and calm, of effort and ease.

It was seeming to me that my whole life, and the messages I was getting from the society around me, was all about effort and opening; doing as much as you possibly can…

without the bit about quieting, softening, and going inward.

Peter Levine, an industry leader in studying and treating trauma, describes this process as “pendulation.”

He believes that rediscovering expansion and contraction is the key to living a full and abundant life, with the ultimate goal of living a more expanded life.

Too much contraction is undesirable, this is established. Thinking too much, worry, fear, over planning, narrow focus (staring at a computer)… this creates a contracted state.

You can feel that contraction in your body- your neck, shoulders, face and maybe lower back become tense.

On the other hand, expansion is always desirable, and always the goal. This happens when you consciously relax your body, get a wider view (look out a window for 30 seconds and notice how your body changes), and settling into the present moment by noticing your breath and bodily sensations.

However, there is a trap that I call “FAKE expansion,” which is also undesirable and can even be harmful.

So what is “fake expansion?”

Over filling your life with STUFF and convincing yourself that it’s REALLY important (cringe, yup, that’s me!) at the expense of your own wellbeing.

Fake expansion is “opening your heart” in a situation where you feel exhausted and unbalanced.

It’s saying yes to so many things that you don’t leave any room to take care of yourself. It’s giving more than you have to give.

We do this ALL THE TIME. Sorry ladies, but women do this more than men, but the guys definitely do their fair share.

And maybe instead of asking how you can open your heart more, you should be asking “can you make space inside your heart for YOU before opening it up to everyone else?”

A.k.a. how do you keep some of that loving care and attention for yourself, so that when you give to and care for others, you can do it from a place of love and joy instead of burnout and martyrdom?

One way you can make space for your own heart is by physically changing the shape of your body to encourage more space in the BACK of the heart area.

Interestingly, as we open the back of our hearts physically, our decisions tend to reflect this and become more in support of self nurturing instead of over reaching.

Breathe into your Back

Our bodies are so fascinating. The sympathetic nerve ganglia, which is a fancy way of describing the nerves that make you feel anxious, stressed, worried, angry…generally amped up…live between the vertebrae in your upper back spine. So, if you are always “opening your heart” by pushing your chest up and trying to stand or sit up really straight and never going the other way (rounding your back) you’re going to have a heck of a time getting your brain and body to relax.

Not to worry! You can do a simple exercise to expand the back of your heart. Here’s how to open your upper back:

Re-Establish Physical Boundaries:

Another way to encourage healthy expansion is by re-discovering the boundaries of your physical body, which reminds the mind to keep a little of that loving energy for yourself.

By re-establishing the boundaries of our bodies, we learn to expand. Here are some ways to develop and be aware of the boundaries in your body. This embodiment of where you end and the rest of the world begins teaches your nervous system how to create healthy boundaries in your life.

Here’s how to establish the boundaries of your body:

Are you are needing to create a little (or a lot) more space in your heart for you, so that you can give from a whole and rested place? Or do you need to remind your nervous system what it means to have meaningful boundaries? Or perhaps you’re like me, and you really needed both.

Whatever the case, the fact is that our society drives us to do more, push harder, be better, all the time. And that doesn’t honor the law of nature, it doesn’t honor pendulation.

Try introducing a little more space for you into your life, and see if that allows you to expand a little more. We not only deserve some space for ourselves, we need it to be sustainable.

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Improve Your Breath to Improve Your Life

I used to hate hiking and running. I was always the slowest one, gasping for air, my neck and shoulders for some reason aching and killing me. I could really relate to the term “sucking wind.”

It just felt like I couldn’t get enough air.

Even when I would diligently hike and run more often, I never got a sense that I could breathe better. I was getting better conditioned, but it always felt very hard. I didn’t understand why, even though I trained regularly, friends of mine who hardly ran or hiked at all would zoom past me up the trail.

I thought, “there must be something wrong with me.”

After I had a pretty severe bike accident, my symptoms became much worse. Instead of just feeling out of breath, when I got left behind in the group my lungs would literally close up. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I might die. “Is this asthma?” I thought.

These days, I am the one zooming up the trail.

I surprise myself at how sometimes, even after I haven’t been training at all, I can easily hike or run without getting out of breath. I never get that feeling of my lungs closing up. Now it’s way more enjoyable to run and hike, and I look forward to it! I feel that I am getting fitter and can go further each week.

So what was going on with me?

Two things. The first was poor lung compliance and perfusion, a.k.a. my ribcage and therefore my lungs weren’t moving well, which didn’t allow me to exchange enough oxygen into my blood stream.

So, even though I was constantly exercising, my tissues weren’t getting the oxygen they needed. No wonder I always felt out of breath!

Turns out the reason my neck and shoulders hurt while hiking and running was because I was trying to pull air in with my neck! My ribcage, lungs and diaphragm weren’t working well together to pump air efficiently in and out, so my neck and shoulders decided to take over.

The second thing holding me back was trauma.

Since my bike accident, if I exerted myself too much, especially with other people around, my body would go into a state of “freeze.” I would check out mentally, close off socially, my lungs would seize up and I would have to sit on the floor and gasp until I could get up again. I think some people might call this a panic attack.

I know now that my ribcage mobility and my trauma were related.

Because I didn’t breathe well in the first place, it was harder for me to breathe and sense the fluctuating rhythms in my body.

Through a lot of trial and error, I eventually found that PRI techniques, in addition to working with a skilled somatic therapist, I was able to overcome both of these obstacles. And because of the huge impact it has had on my life, I now I help others do the same.

The way our bodies work is NOT like a mechanical machine.

We can’t pretend that a breathing issue only affects our lungs. We are constantly affected by what’s going on inside of us and around us, both physically and mentally. We need to be able to shift side to side in our lungs, our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. Stuck ribcages prevent lungs shifting. Stuck mindsets prevent bodies shifting. Stuck beliefs and trauma prevent our spirits from shifting.

The reason overcoming stuck patterns in the body and mind is difficult is because it’s about softening and letting go.

This means allowing air in and out instead of forcing our bodies to breathe a certain way. Releasing tension instead of holding on.

So many of my patients struggle with softening and letting go (myself included).

If I tell someone to tense a muscle, they can almost always do that. But if I ask them to soften and relax a muscle, it is much harder.

Similar to how our muscles become rigid, our minds can do the same thing. Here’s an example:

Someone asks you about an issue that you are strongly against. Very likely, you get worked up and talk fervently about all the reasons you think it is wrong. But if you are asked to see where the other person is coming from, and why they might feel the way they do, it will probably be much harder for you to give an answer.

This is just one way we become rigid- with our beliefs. It’s much harder to change the way we think about something than it is to keep thinking what we always have.

Can changing the way our lungs move help us overcome trauma?

Trauma is a state of being disconnected from our bodies. It’s a survival mode where there’s no room for feeling, because before our feelings were so terrifying and painful that we don’t want to risk going there again.

Trauma lives in our bodies, not in our thoughts.

We can’t think our way out of trauma. But we most certainly can feel our way out.

Sensing the breath is one way to sense our bodies again, which is the first step to overcoming trauma. We must learn to sense the ever-changing flow that is always occurring in our bodies. And at the center of our bodies lie our lungs, whose function is to manage flow. Flow of air in and out, flow of oxygen to our tissues, flow of byproducts back out into the world.

*Please note that sensing the breath is not appropriate for everyone who is working with trauma. So, if you find that noticing your breath feels uncomfortable for any reason, take a break for now and consult with a provider to help guide you in this process.

Our lungs remind us of how connected we are to everyone and everything around us.

We use our lungs to create air for our voice so that we can communicate with others. The carbon dioxide that we don’t need is expelled by the lungs to provide nourishment to trees and plants. And those very plants provide oxygen back to the bronchial trees within us.

As Pocahontas said,

“…we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends”

(Sorry, couldn’t resist the Disney reference!)

Do You Find Yourself Holding Your Breath?

When we don’t breathe, we don’t shift. When we don’t let go, we become rigid. Letting air out is an excellent way to start bringing flow back into your body via the breath.

Most people think of the inhale as the main part of the breath. But an inhale is only as good as the exhale before it.

Think of it this way. If you didn’t get all your air out, your next inhale will not bring in much fresh oxygen! There’s just not enough room with the lungs partially full of old air.

Furthermore, if you don’t exhale all the way, your lungs and ribcage don’t get to move through their full range of motion. Now you are working towards rigidity in a pattern of half full lungs, and you are reducing the amount of flow in your body.

The less your ribs move, the less your diaphragm moves, the less massaged your gut organs get by the movement of your diaphragm, and you become more rigid in your digestion.

The less air you get out, the more your body shifts into a state of fear and tension.

Think of your lungs as a balloon. If you never exhale completely, that balloon keeps getting more and more filled with air, and you feel like you’re floating away from the ground. We need a sense of the ground to feel stable, supported, and, well, grounded!

One way to start creating more flow and learning to let go is by letting air out.

Notice that I didn’t say FORCING air out (which is what most of us tend to do). It’s about allowing the lower front ribs to soften down instead of cramming them down.

Here is a short video on how to find an exhale breath that will get your ribs and lungs moving again.

Think of this breath as a sigh. Like you’re getting into a hot bath, or arriving home after a long day and sinking into a nice soft couch. “ahhhhhhh.” After that first delicious sip of an ice cold drink on a hot summer day, “ahhhhhh.”

If you like, take note of how you feel before and after doing this breath for about 5 rounds of 5 breaths. Has the quality of your breath changed? How about the quality of your mind? Your mood? You may be surprised by the results.

To take this a step further and work on sensing your body in addition to sensing your breath, practice also feeling the places where your body touches the chair, and/or where your feet touch the floor. Notice if you’re tensing your shoulders or your face, and see if you can soften there.

More and more throughout your day, be aware of what’s happening in your breath and your body.

Just noticing your breath, and not even trying to change it at all, is an incredibly powerful technique. You can watch your body find it’s rhythm again.

*Again, If doing this makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, consult with a provider who can help you work through the process of getting back in touch with your body.

So if you’re like me, and you’ve been trying really hard to get better but things still don’t feel right, breathing and sensing might be the missing link.

Don’t underestimate the power of finding the flow in your lungs, your mind, your spirit. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve made it to the other side. And I know that if I can do it, so can you!

If you want to work with me on this or just have questions on next steps, feel free to send me an email or leave a comment below. Derya@MyEssentalPT.com.

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Whiplash, Pain, and the Brain.

Earlier this week it snowed a lot. Then it melted, and froze overnight. And when I took my dog out for her morning walk, well, you can probably guess what happened. I didn’t make it 20 feet from my door before my feet slid out from under me on a patch of ice and I landed hard on my butt, with my head being painfully snapped back. I was, of course, a little stunned and went back to my house to survey the damage. No broken bones, just some bruises. Over the next few days I monitored myself for signs of concussion, which , thankfully, there were none, but what I did have was a painful stiffness and ache in my neck when I tried to move my head. “Oh great,” I thought. Whiplash.

An Icy Morning.

When I first walked into my house after slipping on the ice, these were the thoughts in my head, “oh no, you have a delicate neck. This is going to be so bad. You are going to be dealing with this for months. What if you have another concussion? That’s going to really mess you up…” and on and on.

Luckily, I had the knowledge and training to know that these thoughts would be the most significant factor in my speed and completeness of my recovery. Even though it was hard, I started to change my self talk. I said to myself, “this is not that bad. You’ll get over it soon with a couple days for your strained muscles to heal. You didn’t hit your head, and there are no signs that anything is seriously wrong. You’re going to be ok.”

At first, I didn’t believe these words I told myself, but I kept up with it. And, over the course of the day, I started believing a little bit of it. But more importantly, my body felt less tense and guarded. Now, three days later, my neck pain is almost completely gone. I didn’t have to go to a chiropractor or have needles stuck in my neck. I didn’t have to do any special exercises except some breathing to calm my nervous system. I didn’t even have to change my daily activities and still did what I would usually do, including exercise.

Of course, it’s not always that easy, and it has not always been the case for me to get over neck pain that quickly. I have had many neck injuries of varying severity, and the pain of them has plagued me for many years of my life. I tried everything, acupuncture, chiropractic, and of course several physical therapists. Those all helped, but my neck pain never really went away until I changed the way I thought about my pain. I know, I know, it sounds like I’m saying, “it’s all in your head.” Which is just not true. But, it is true that a lot of it is in how your head and your body talk to each other.

Pain and the Brain

You see, the brain determines levels of threat, and sends signals to our body on what to do accordingly. When your brain perceives high threat, it starts emitting neurotransmitters that tell your body to tense, to breathe more shallowly, and halt healing processes.

This is actually really good. For example, let’s say you’re a wild human and you get attacked by a tiger. You find yourself bleeding and injured, and your brain knows that it needs to get your muscles tensed and ready to go so that you can hoof it back to your village before you die in the middle of the prairie. (Do tiger’s even live on prairies? Anyway, you get the idea). Your brain, in that moment, is not worried about healing. Healing occurs when you get back to the village and your wounds can be tended, you are safe.

But what if you never get to the village? What if the stress of getting attacked by a tiger is replaced with the stress and worry that’s associated with chronic neck pain, the fear that you will never get better, the threat of having to deal with a stiff neck on top of all the other things you are having to deal with in your life right now?

In this scenario, your body never gets a signal to relax, to soften your tensed muscles, to release a cascade of neurochemical transmitters that promote healing. You become caught in a troublesome feedback loop: your muscles get’s tense, which causes your brain to percieve threat. As a result of that percieved threat, your body get’s more tense. And on and on, until you find yourself dealing with months to years of pain with no one able to explain to you why it won’t go away.

Getting out of the Cycle of Pain

I have been there, in that loop. I have a tendency to go back there, maybe it’s just how I’m wired. I have to actively, consciously, change the way I think about my body and pain in order to subvert that loop. And it works. I also use relaxation techniques and mindfulness meditation practices to assist me in this process. But what has been so fascinating to me is that this is the missing link in healing from chronic pain, and, perhaps more importantly, preventing it in the first place.

This is not news to the medical community; there have been plenty of studies linking a patient’s outlook on recovery to how well they actually recover. This mind body connection is starting to become more popular in pain management, but in most cases it is not emphasized or even acknowledged in our healthcare system. Certainly, there are appropriate times to seek invasive modalities or even surgery, but shouldn’t we start with an intervention that is very low risk and potentially very high reward in regards to resolution of symptoms?

I have created some resources to help you manage your pain and to prevent yourself from developing chronic pain syndromes. It starts with being able to sense and feel your body, in a non-threatening way. This will allow your brain and body to get out of the cycle of threat and pain and back into fluid, alternating, reciprocating motion.

Getting Back in Your Body

A great place to start getting back in your body is with this simple 5 minute Guided Body Awareness Technique. (You should try it, it’s really relaxing!)

Five Minute Body Awareness Exercise.

Remember, pain is not just in your body, and it’s not just in your brain. Whoever says that mind and body are two separate things is just wrong. You can’t treat one and not the other and expect to change the patterns that we live in. If you find yourself in chronic pain, be kind and gentle with yourself. Reconnecting with the sensations in your body is the first step to letting go of these stuck patterns.

May you find ease in your body.

– Dr. Derya

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