If you know me, you know I love to look at research studies. Sure, they have their limitations, but it’s really cool to see things we intuitively know are good for us proven under the scrutiny of the scientific method!
Take, for example, a recent review of the literature that studies the role of a positive outlook on pain. This study is from the Clinical Psychological Society in the Netherlands.
They found that a positive outlook significantly reduces pain, and reduces sensitivity to painful events.
For people with chronic pain or other painful conditions, they found that positivity can also optimize the effectiveness of other treatments.
Wow! That is pretty amazing. But if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking,
“Well, it’s pretty hard to be happy-go-lucky when you’re in pain! How am I supposed to do that?”
This is especially true if you have chronic pain that you’ve been dealing with for a long time. It’s hard to not let that get you down, and understandably so.
So how can we use this research to make change in our pain and our lives?
My prescription for you is this:
decide, right now, that you are your own first priority.
Yup, that’s right. Before you start thinking of reasons to put yourself second (or third, or fourth…or last), consider this:
When you get on a plane, don’t they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping other people? That’s because you’re not much good to anyone if you’re passed out in the aisle!
Taking care of yourself is like putting your oxygen mask on. You need to be okay before you can be there for other people in a meaningful way. Otherwise, you will end up resentful to those you intended to help, and/or you will burn out. If you REALLY want to be there for the people you love and the causes you care about, you MUST take care of yourself first.
There are so many simple, quick and effective ways to reduce your levels of daily stress, and thereby improve your mood and your outlook.
Some of the things you can do to boost your mood are quick reminders that you can include easily in your day on the fly, and others you have to plan for. Let’s take a look at both.
On the Fly Mood Boosters
I’m gonna give you some daily, stress-busting reminders to try.
Your job is to pick one or two that you can really do over the next week.
Write the one you pick on a post-it and stick it on a mirror, the refrigerator, your desk, or anywhere else you know you’ll see it a lot. You can even post reminders in more than just one place!
After a week, take a moment to notice if anything has shifted in you since you started this practice.
You might keep up with it as it is, change your reminder, or just modify yours a little. It’s your daily ritual, make it how you like it!
List of Reminders For Your Post-It:
- “Breathe” (long slow inhales, longer slower exhales)
- Be willing to not have all the answers.
- When you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself, “what is the most important thing right now?”
- Pick a different energy- whimsy, joy, playfulness, or one of your own choosing- and call it into your mind and heart.
- Remove extra minor stressors when you find them (e.g. driving just a little too fast…it’s weirdly stressful!).
- Be willing to ask for help when you need it.
- If you’re pushing yourself to complete a self-imposed task, ask yourself, “will this matter in a year?”
- Take several slow, deep breaths before each meal.
- Remind yourself to “slow down” more often.
- Pretend that you’re at your “vacation job” or your “vacation home,” or in your “vacation car.” How would you act differently if this was exactly what you wanted to be doing, where you wanted to be? If you CHOSE this?
Plan Your Relaxation Time
While it’s good to have little reminders in the day, nothing can match the power of actually scheduling time in your day to do something to take care of you. And, for most of us, if you don’t schedule it in your calendar, it won’t get done.
So grab your favorite pen, your planner, and block out some time for yummy self care!
Here are some ideas you can choose from, or you can come up with your own self soothing experience 🙂
Planned Ways to Reduce Stress
- Practice this Active Rest Pose for 5 minutes, a few days a week.
- Practice self empathy for a few minutes, especially if you are feeling down.
- Take a nap!
- Go for a walk outside. If possible, try not to look at your phone (or not bring it if you can!).
- Buy yourself some flowers.
- Leave early for an appointment and enjoy the journey getting there.
- Go for a walk with your dog or child, and let them lead the way. Stop where they stop, notice if you feel impatient, and let them teach you how to slow down and savor the moment.
- Use all your paid time off!
- Read a book (that’s not related to work or self-improvement!)
- Eat your lunch outside, and JUST eat. (try not to look at your phone, read, or listen to something).
- Plan a “frump day” where you stay home all day in your comfy, frumpy clothes and do whatever you feel like. Watch movies, do some stretching, bake some cookies, take a bath.
- Write a handwritten letter to someone you care for and haven’t seen in a while. Use special stationary that you like.
- Lie on the couch for a few minutes. Not to listen to a podcast, sleep, or text. Just be there.
- Take a 5 minute stretch break at work- make sure you’re breathing!
Not all of these may appeal to you, but I’m sure some of them do! Incorporating some spontaneous and some planned relaxation into your day can make a huge difference in your outlook, your pain, and your overall experience of life.
After all, what’s the point of all this if you’re not enjoying some of it along the way, right?
Keep taking care of yourself, and the world will reward you.
May you find ease in your body! I’ll be there rooting for you the whole way.
– Dr. Derya
