The first time I sat to meditate I made it about two minutes before I somehow ended up in the kitchen making myself a sandwich. The current of my thoughts and “to-do’s” was so overwhelming I couldn’t justify sitting still for 10 minutes, let alone relax while doing it!
In my first year of yoga classes, I hated savasana, the pose where you lie still at the end of class. I literally could not wait for it to be over, and sometimes would just roll up my mat and walk out. If you have ADHD or trouble being still, you know what I mean. Meditation can seem like a daunting if not impossible task. It wasn’t until I started exploring different ways to approach meditation that I finally found a way to observe my body and sensations without hating every moment. I realized that I didn’t have to sit still for hours to get benefits, and in some ways it was harmful for me to force my body and mind into a box that didn’t fit. Once I became open to new ways to meditate, I started to develop a consistent meditation practice, and enjoy being with myself.
In this article you’ll find simple, actionable advice to help you get the benefits of meditation even if you have ADHD or any other condition that makes it hard for you to stay focused.
Move
On my first meditation retreat I wanted to be the best meditator. I sat up straighter than everyone else, and for longer than everyone else. But I was miserable. Instead of letting go of my ego, I was feeding it by trying to be “the best,” instead of acknowledging my needs. The battle to not move became so distracting that I couldn’t meditate, defeating the whole purpose of why I was there! Thankfully, when I related this to my teacher on the retreat, she told me to go outside, and walk. And walk fast.
Getting up and moving is a great tool for meditation, because it allows you to experience the ever changing nature of reality directly. If you have trouble sitting still, try this walking meditation:
- Go for a walk outside, or find a space where you can continually walk for about 5-10 minutes.
- Walk slowly, sensing the ground under your feet.
- Feel as much of your foot as you can as it touches the ground, starting from the heel, then midfoot, then toes.
- If it is too hard to pay attention as you walk slowly, you can walk faster and instead feel the sensations in your legs. You could even jog and notice how alive your legs feel.
Change Your Perspective
Sitting in the meditation hall, deep in the torture of trying to observe my own thoughts and being constantly distracted, I opened my eyes a little and snuck a peek at the rest of the people in the hall. Lo and behold, everyone else is sitting still and quiet, like statues of buddha! I felt so terrible. I completely gave up on trying to meditate and spent the rest of the hour thinking about all the things I would do and eat when I got back from retreat.
I learned two very important things from that experience. I learned that no matter how peaceful others look on the outside, there is no way we can know the turmoil inside. And trust me, everyone has their own inner demons that they struggle with. Secondly, I learned that losing focus is not a bad thing, in fact it is a normal and necessary part of meditation. Instead of getting down on myself when I lost concentration or focus, I had to celebrate it!
Yes, you read that right. Whenever you lose touch with your object of focus, that is a wonderful moment! Because it means that you get to come back. And coming back, over and over again, is the real practice of meditation. Expert meditators who have been meditating for many years seem like they are able to sustain focus on one object for a very long time, but what they are actually doing is coming back to their object of focus very quickly, so it appears that they are continually focused.
The next time you realize you are lost in thought, try saying to yourself, “oh wonderful, an opportunity to come back!” Because every time you come back to your object of focus, you are making new neural connections that make you a better meditator.
Short Bursts of Practice
Meditation doesn’t mean that you have to sit still for hours at a time. In fact, there are some traditions of meditation where formal sitting is deemed not as effective as becoming quickly and immediately aware of the true nature of reality in the moment, with no preparation.
The purpose of meditation is to see things as they really are, constantly changing and impermanent. To start practicing this, take a moment several times in your day to observe your sensations. You may do this for 5 seconds or 2 minutes or 20 minutes, it doesn’t matter the length but all that matters is that you observe some sensation directly in the moment.
One place that I find it really easy to feel sensations is the tingling that is always present in my hands and feet. This is a good place to start.
Try this exercise right now to practice observing your sensations in the moment:
- Close your eyes and just feel your fingertips or the soles of your feet.
- Notice if you feel a tingling or buzzing sensation.
- Keep paying attention to the tingling or buzzing for however long you feel like.
- Do this regularly, for example every time you go to the bathroom, check your instagram, or have a drink of water.
- Once you get good at this you won’t even have to close your eyes, you can observe your sensations without anybody even knowing that you’re meditating! (Pretty cool, huh?)
Pro Tip: If you can’t feel anything in your hands or feet, try rubbing your hands on your thighs or your feet on the floor briskly for 10 seconds, then stop and close your eyes and see what you feel. You will definitely notice some sensation in your hands or feet after that. You’re not looking for anything special! Just observe that sensation, and you’re meditating.
Exercise
Sometimes I sit to meditate after working at my desk all day, and my body refuses to be still. Our bodies need to move, and if you’ve been sitting all day, it will be hard to sit for meditation.
If your body has energy that it needs to expend, it will be more difficult to sit quietly to meditate. Try doing some vigorous exercise of your choice for 10-20 minutes before meditating. This could be running, swimming, jump roping, climbing, jumping jacks, whatever you like to do to release excess energy.
Set Achievable Goals
Achieving your goals can provide you the confidence and momentum you need to be able to stick with your meditation practice. But these goals have to be achievable!
If you have never meditated before, or have difficulty meditating due to ADHD, it is not a good idea to set a goal of meditating 1 hour every day. Pick something that you feel at least 80% confident that you can achieve. Your goal may be to do a walking meditation for 2 minutes a day for 1 week. Achieving this goal will give you the confidence you need to stick with it. And if you don’t achieve that goal, set another one that you can achieve! Being kind and patient with yourself is one of the greatest lessons in meditation, and in order to learn that lesson you have to start where you are.
Be Kind to Yourself
Meditation is a tool to help you develop greater understanding of your true self. Before you undertake a meditation practice, ask yourself, “why do I want to meditate?” Get clear on why this is important to you. Most likely, your goals for meditating are not to berate yourself and compare yourself to others. So be kind to yourself, and give yourself lots of space to experiment until you find what works for you.
As long as you are observing the reality of the present moment, you are meditating. Thoughts and doubts will always arise, but keep coming back to your object of focus in a kind and gentle way and over time it will become easier. If you are getting frustrated with your meditation it’s okay to take a break and try again later.
Meditation has helped me so much in my life, and I hope that this article makes it easier for you to find ease in your mind and body, too.
