You know that feeling you get when a moment is so perfect you just want to capture it forever? And then there’s that sadness when you realize that the reason the moment is so perfect is because of its impermanence, and ironically any attempts to capture it would suck out all the specialness of the situation.
This is the inherent, beautiful sadness associated with the understanding of impermanence.
I had this feeling earlier today, just now actually, driving home from work. It was a warm, hazy afternoon and everyone on the road had their windows rolled down including me. As I came upon a view of the mountains, the perfect moody, twangy, blues-ey cowboy song came on the radio and I so badly wanted to capture that moment. My inclination was to pull over and look up the song so that I could add it to a playlist and listen to this song and have this feeling over and over…
But that’s not how it works. So, instead of wasting this perfect moment searching on my phone, I turned up the volume and cruised.
I feel this same kind of sadness when I’m walking my dog, Hazel, and see hundreds of flowers popping up in unexpected places. Initially, this makes me so happy, and then I feel sad because they’re all going to go away as the seasons change, and part of me wants them to just stay. But I also know that if they were around forever, they wouldn’t be nearly as delightful.
It’s at these moments that I recall the core teaching of the buddha: everything is impermanent, and constantly changing.
By understanding impermanence, I can let go of wanting things to stay a certain way, because I know that it’s not the true nature of things. And by embracing change, we can smile when the flowers come, and also smile knowing that they will go. Because red and golden fall leaves and later pristine white blankets of snow will take their place. Instead of fretting about missing a moment, I can simply enjoy it.
Embracing change is not something that comes instinctively to us, and something we have to work on.
That’s because change means uncertainty, and uncertainty is scary. But, when you really think about it, nothing is certain. And pretending that we can be certain only breeds attachment and fear.
How Fear of Change Manifests in the Body
Our bodies were designed to oscillate and reciprocate, they were meant to shift from right to left and left to right, from front to back and top to bottom, and twist and turn in all different directions.
However, most of us get stuck in patterns that come from the way we always do things, and (maybe more so) the way we always think things. We assume what the next day will be like based on the days before, and if there has been the same thoughts, movements and emotions in the previous days, the brain and body will expect more of the same. And if something is different, we become fearful, worried, frustrated or angry.
Take for example your commute to work. Everyday you drive to work, and you expect your car to run the way it did the day before. But if for some reason your car breaks down or doesn’t start, this is extremely upsetting! It ruins your day, because it’s not what you had planned, what you predicted, what your brain and body is comfortable with.
Think about all the things you do in your day the same way. Always crossing one leg over the other. Always crossing one arm over the other. Mousing with the same hand at the computer. Driving the same route to work everyday. Feeling stressed about the same things at work. Getting in the same arguments with your significant other.
All of these actions pattern us physically, mentally, emotionally.
The more patterned we become, the more resistant we are to change. The more resistant we are to change, the more we suffer when something unexpected happens. And the more our bodies become hardened into certain patterns that don’t allow us to alternate and reciprocate, the more we get stuck. Stuckness creates imbalance, disease, and pain.
So How do I Get “Unstuck?”
Well, that’s “easy.” Easy because the changes aren’t that hard to do physically, but the quotes are there because change is hard! Everything about the way your brain and body are wired is designed to resist change. Your brain wants to keep you “safe,” and patterns feel nice and secure.
To get yourself unstuck, try doing things you usually wouldn’t do! Sleep on the other side of the bed. Cross the opposite arm in front. Take a different route to work. Cook something different for dinner. Stay up later. Wake up earlier. Put your watch on the other wrist. Get creative and find ways to mix it up.
The main source of where we get stuck is through our ribcage and lung field. By shifting the way we stand and move, we shift the way we breathe, so doing any of the above helps with that. You can also help create more mobility, shifting, and alternating in your life by doing specific exercises for your lungs.
That said, don’t disregard the power of inviting more change into your life. It is a simple way to create new patterns and break up old ones. You learn to be more comfortable with change, and maybe even enjoy and invite it into your life. It’s pretty amazing how when you let go of how you expect things to be, you see all the ways that things can be.
Noticing Change Through the Body
The body is the gateway to observing the changing nature of our existence. Your breath is always in flux, inhale to exhale. The heart is always beating, sensations are always changing (even though it seems that a sensation stays the same, when you pay close attention you will notice that it is indeed changing in subtle ways). When we can observe change in our body carefully and thoroughly, we start to understand impermanence on a visceral level, which is where the real change takes place. Just understanding impermanence on a cognitive, theoretical level is helpful, but it is not enough to shift your body into a new state of freedom and flow. To incite real and lasting change, we must experience at the physical level, at the level of the body.
Noticing change in the body is called “interoception.”
This 5 minute guided meditation will help you notice change in your body by practicing interoception.
So next time you find yourself feeling frustrated that something didn’t go the way you wanted, or sad that something won’t stay the way it is or was, remember that this moment can change you from the inside out if you let it. And to ease the pain of those moments, start making changes now! Try to switching up your routine whenever you can. Try something new and mix it up.
Your brain and body will thank you.
