The sun warms my skin as the canoe lazily sways as we float the wide Missouri River. Cows graze on either side, the sun bounces dramatically off the white cliffs in the background. It is so quiet that the sound of silence almost seems too loud, broken only by the occasional “moo” of a cow or the rustle of my dog, Hazel, as she readjusts her reclined position atop our dry bags.
While floating down the Missouri River last week, I realized a few important things- in the way that one can do only when taking time away from day to day life.
One thing I learned is how attached I have become to certain routines. Even healthy routines can be harmful if we become attached to them- meaning we don’t know how to emotionally regulate ourselves without them.
For me, this was running. I have come to love running, as a form of stress relief, socializing, being out in nature, and staying healthy cardiovascularly. Obviously getting in the habit of running is a very healthy thing to do.
But on this trip I realized how much I lean on running for my mental health and wellbeing, and I noticed that when the opportunity wasn’t there, a little part of my brain started to freak out…
This is a really common occurrence for runners, or anyone who has a physical activity routine that helps them be a more balanced person. However, it is also important to understand that the very thing making your more balanced can also pull you off kilter.
This “runners withdrawal” is something I am familiar with and can see coming. The way I manage it is by getting out of my “emotional brain” – which immediately will go to worst case scenario (“you’re going to feel awful, you won’t sleep well, you’re getting out of shape!”) – and switch on my rational brain (this is only a week, you can run when you get back, enjoy all that is around you, because in a week it will be gone!).
As you can see, the rational brain is, well, more rational. However, it’s really hard to go to this rational place when we are dealing with the loss of something that keeps us from freaking out. If the emotional brain is allowed to persist, it usually perpetuates a downward spiral.
I have seen this same syndrome in patients who have undergone a surgery or severe injury. Their rational brain knows that switching to biking until their surgery heals will ultimately get them back to running sooner and more healthily, but their emotional brain cries out to them to “just go run now, deal with the consequences later.”
Tapping into the rational brain stops the downward spiral of emotions in its tracks. It get’s you back on course, so instead of paddling upstream, you can just enjoy the ride.
So how do we tap into this rational brain? For me, the red flags for when I am going to my emotional “freak out” brain are certain bodily sensations. My head feels hot, I get a sinking feeling in my chest, and a tingling in my arms. When I notice those sensations, I ask myself,
“Okay, what is really going on here?”
Or
“What would I say to a friend having the same thoughts/worries?”
This can be enough to click on your rational brain, and that can turn a potentially bad time into a good time! And who doesn’t want to have a good time?
So next time you notice you’re starting to go to a dark place with the loss of some physical activity that you love, or even a change to your routine that leaves you feeling muddled inside, follow these steps:
Notice your body sensations (the more you do this, the more quickly you will recognize your body shifting into the “emotional brain”)
Ask yourself, “what’s really going on here?” Or “What would I say to a friend having the same thoughts/worries?”
Rinse and repeat.
Even when you are in an idyllic situation- as I was, floating on a river with nowhere to be and a cold beverage in my hand, my internal climate was becoming a cloudy rainstorm. With the tools to manage my emotions and my reactions to those emotions, I was able to turn it around, enjoy the moment and return to my routine a week later feeling relaxed, restored, and ready to take on the world.
Have you ever been told to do that? I certainly have! “Breathe deep…” that’s what instructors have told me during hard workouts as I sweat and sputter for air. I’ve had kind friends tell me to “just breathe deep!” when I’m going through a stressful moment.
This sounds like a good idea, because deep inhales calm you down, right? Well…actually no.
In fact, taking a deep breath is the last thing you want to do if you’re trying to calm down!
One of the best things you can do to calm and destress is to hold your breath.
Sounds crazy, I know! Because everyone always tells you to breathe, and we’ve all heard that breath-holding is really bad for us. That is true but also NOT True! Okay…let me break this down a bit.
Holding our breath is really unhealthy if we are unaware that we are doing it.
Disorders such as sleep apnea are harmful, unconscious forms of breath-holding. We want to avoid this for sure!
A new form of unhealthy, unconscious breath-holding is becoming more common and leading to all kinds of problems. This type of breath-holding occurs when we are constantly shifting between tasks and never focusing on one thing for a sustained period of time. Without realizing it, we forget to breathe.
Our current lifestyle promotes this scattered attention. With computers, phones, and watches pinging us all day long we can’t stay focused even if we try!
This form of unconscious breath-holding, now dubbed “email apnea” is very problematic- leading to poor digestion, increased stress hormone production, increased blood pressure, a dampened immune system, decreased ability to focus, and interrupted sleep. After months or years of this, your neck and shoulders get tight on top of everything else.
So why am I telling you that you should hold your breath? Because when you consciously hold your breath, all sorts of wonderful things happen.
Breath Holding for Clarity of Mind
Yes, it’s true, when you hold your breath you start to feel anxious, irritable, and hyper-focused on getting air in. But this momentary air hunger results in a state of peace and calm once you are finished with the technique. Over time this relaxed state becomes more and more prominent because your tolerance to carbon dioxide is increasing and your breathing patterns are becoming normalized at rest.
Yogis have been practicing breath-holding techniques for thousands of years.
At that time they already knew that there were health benefits, and now we know the science behind it.
By exposing the chemical sensors in your arteries to greater and greater levels of carbon dioxide by holding your breath, you restore normal breathing patterns that have been disrupted due to minor (or major) stressors in your life.
Yogis would often use breath-holding techniques as a way to prepare for sitting in meditation because as breathing normalizes, thinking becomes clearer.
But don’t worry! You don’t have to meditate to get all the benefits. Just doing the breathing techniques are enough.
Breath-Holding and Anxiety
Breath-holding techniques have been shown to help with anxiety and depression disorders (of which 50% of Americans will suffer one of).
The problem is, patients with anxiety have a much greater fear of holding their breath. To avoid the sensation of air hunger- which is inherently anxiety producing- they over-breathe.
Over time, their chemical sensors tolerate less and less carbon dioxide, and it becomes harder and harder to hold your breath. This cycle creates more anxiety, more over-breathing, and so on.
Slow breathing is taught to people who suffer from panic attacks because it increases carbon dioxide levels without the fear-inducing capacity of breath holding. So, if you know that you tend toward anxiety or panic attacks, try slow breathing first.
If you are feeling stressed, anxious, or panicky, your body is already increasing your oxygen levels and reducing your carbon dioxide levels. If this continues, a panic attack can occur. By increasing and maintaining higher levels of carbon dioxide, the anxiety can be prevented before it even starts.
So, instead of taking a deep breath, try holding your breath!
This will increase your carbon dioxide levels and trigger your chemoreceptors to increase your tolerance to carbon dioxide. At first, while holding your breath, you may feel MORE anxious, uncomfortable, irritable. Your body will scream at you to breathe. But AFTER you hold your breath, the opposite happens. You become relaxed, calm, clear-headed.
Precautions
A word of warning: do NOT try this technique if you are pregnant or if you have cardiac issues or heart problems. This technique is also not appropriate for children under age 12.
How to Do It:
To practice breath-holding, make sure to breathe slowly and smoothly in through the nose and out through the nose. If your breath becomes ragged or uneven, or you are feeling very anxious or panicked, reduce the time of holding until you can perform the exercise comfortably while still reaching the sense of slight urge to inhale.
Here’s what to do:
Slowly inhale to the count of four.
Exhale fully but slowly also to the count of four.
Hold your breath when you are done exhaling for a count of four.
Repeat this breath cycle for 1-2 minutes.
You can increase or decrease the count depending on if it feels easy or too challenging, for example holding each stage for only 2 seconds if it feels very hard, or 5 seconds if it feels easy.
*Aim to hold the breath for the same duration as the inhalation and the exhalation. This is a goal to work toward if holding your breath is hard initially.
A few things to keep in mind:
Don’t over-effort to hold your breath, work within your range of sensing some air hunger but not over doing it.
Practice this technique sitting or laying down. Do not do this technique while standing.
Keep your mouth closed and breathe through your nose as much as possible.
Practice this breathing technique on an empty stomach if possible.
Potential Health Benefits:
Improved diaphragm function.
Increased lung capacity.
Cleared out residual, dead air from the lungs.
Restored function of the respiratory center in the brain (due to the increase in carbon dioxide during breath-holding).
Increased oxygen off-loading to tissues, resulting in improved breathing efficiency and endurance.
Reduced stress and anxiety.
Clearer thinking.
Improved circulation.
May help with relieve digestive problems, allergies, asthma, and auto-immune disorders.
Those are the general guidelines for focusing our attention on the breath. This awareness makes us feel calmer, more relaxed, and releases tension from our bodies.
But How? Why does changing our breath change our mood, and many other factors?
Research has shown that slower, deeper breathing reduces heart rate and risk for cardiovascular disease, as well as improves athletic performance. (yes, all you athletes out there, breathe slower to go faster).
The reason all these magnificent changes occur within us when we deepen our breath, especially our exhales, is because of a very special molecule that usually gets a bad rap.
I’m talking about good old carbon dioxide, CO2.
I know what you’re thinking…is she talking about the very same carbon dioxide that we are trying to reduce in our atmosphere to slow global warming? The same carbon dioxide that is considered a waste product of our bodies- something useless to to be rid of as soon as possible?
Well, yes, I am.
But what if I told you that this special little molecule was not only a useful component in improving your health, but an essential one for you to be able to thrive?
You see, for our bodies to get oxygen from our lungs to our tissues, we need carbon dioxide. To get a proper inhale, our receptors in our neck need to sense a certain amount of carbon dioxide in our bodies.
Not to mention, carbon dioxide is stored as bicarbonate in your blood stream, which is essential for maintaining the pH balance of your whole body.
Did I mention that carbon dioxide is critical in weight loss? Most of your body mass lost is due to breathing out carbon dioxide. In fact, more than 80% of weight loss is due to breathing out CO2, and only 15% or so is lost via sweat and urine.
So, if you’ve been dieting, exercising, doing all the right things and still not losing weight… you may want to look at how you’re breathing.
Let’s explore some of these in a little detail…
Firstly, how the heck does carbon dioxide help your body get more oxygen?
Think of carbon dioxide as the Fedex guy, and oxygen as your packages. When outside air hits your lungs, it makes it’s way down to alveoli, the tiny air sacs that interface with the blood stream. The oxygen molecules (packages) get loaded from the alveoli onto the red blood cell, which in this analogy is the Fedex truck.
The truck travels all over the body, delivering oxygen to all the cells as they all need oxygen to survive and flourish. When exercising, certain muscles need even more oxygen more quickly.
This is where our good buddy carbon dioxide comes in.
Oxygen cannot get off the truck unless there is a carbon dioxide molecule there to unload it.
When the oxygen gets to its destination, the carbon dioxide triggers the packages (oxygen) to be unloaded off the Fedex Truck (red blood cell), and be delivered to the cells (your mailbox).
The more carbon dioxide present, the more efficiently the oxygen can be offloaded to cells.
So, when you’re exercising and you really need to get oxygen to those tissues, perhaps try breathing slower instead of faster.
Why does the amount of CO2 in your body determine how you inhale?
I’m constantly telling my patients, don’t worry about the inhale! If you get a good exhale, the inhale will just come.
This is for two reasons, the first of which is purely mechanical.
When you exhale completely, the lungs become essentially “empty” of air, which creates a vacuum. New air has to flow in. It must follow the laws of nature! It must flow from the higher pressure (outside your body) to the lower pressure (inside your lungs). You don’t have to use your accessory muscles (aka your neck) to pull air in, it just goes in! Easy.
The second reason is neurological.
Deep in the reptilian brain, the most primal part of our brain that was present when the first creature crawled out of the primordial goo and decided to walk on land, there is a simple neural network that says, “breathe.”
This network senses levels of oxygen and CO2 in your body to decide when to inhale or exhale. Basically, when your body senses a certain level of oxygen in your body, that circuit makes you exhale. Similarly, when a certain level of CO2 is sensed, the circuit makes your body inhale.
Unfortunately, for many of us, this circuit gets messed up.
We breathe shallowly because we are less active, or stressed, or both, and we do this so much that we end up overriding the part of the circuit that senses CO2 and tells you to inhale.
We get stuck in this cycle of inhaling without ever getting to the bottom of our breath; we lose that primal trigger to inhale, so our inhales get all wonky, a.k.a. you end up pulling your ribcage up with your neck.
In addition to all these important factors, carbon dioxide is the main reason that you feel relaxed with deeper breathing.
Carbon dioxide makes you chill out.
Think about it. What do they tell you to do when you’re having a panic attack? Breathe into a paper bag. You’re breathing back in the CO2 you exhaled. Get that CO2 flowin’ baby!
Carbon dioxide relaxes you by causing your blood vessels to relax, which allows blood to deliver oxygen to all your tissues more easily.
Also, as mentioned above, CO2 lets your body unload oxygen from red blood cells to tissues.
These two factors together mean that your brain gets more oxygen and blood flow. This tells your body that you are safe, and you feel calmer and, well, more chill!
So how to insure that you get more CO2, but not too much?
The answer is simple, and I think you know what I’m going to say.
Breathe deeper, quieter, regular, slower.
5-6 seconds for each inhale and exhale, resulting in about 5-6 breaths per minute, is the ideal for balancing the CO2 and O2 in your body.
Below is a short video on how to do just that and harness the power of this special molecule.
Are you ready to breathe better to move better, to improve the health and resiliency of your lungs without any medication or procedures? Click the button below to find out if will benefit from working with Dr. Derya.
Wait a minute, I already know how to exhale. I do it hundreds of times a day, without even realizing it! Why would I need to learn how to exhale?
Good question.
As I work with my patients, the comment I often get is, “wow, I didn’t realize that I was never really exhaling!”
But how can that be? Read onwards, my friend, and I’ll explain it all.
When we breathe, we have many degrees to which we can move air in and out. There is simple survival breathing, which is just enough air to keep us alive, some may call this a “shallow breath.” This is how many of us breathe when we are still and not moving.
If we spend a lot of time still and not moving, or if we have life events that put our nervous system in a state that tells us we are not safe, and we should be as still as possible as a survival mechanism, we can get stuck in a shallow breath.
“Form follows function and function follows form” is a tenet of how our physical structure adapts to our environment. When we don’t breathe deeply, our ribs and surrounding structures don’t move. When our ribs don’t move, it’s harder to breathe well.
Oh, well the solution to that is easy, just breathe deeper!
For some reason, our common societal belief is that to breathe deeper, we need to take more air in.
While this is true for some people, it’s definitely not true for many. And, almost EVERYONE needs to first get air OUT before you can effectively get air back in.
This Ribcage is Too Big!
Some ribcages are “hyperinflated.” Barrel-chested, military posture, ribs pushed up in the front, all these positions indicate that there is some dead air hanging out in those lungs, for who knows how many years.
How are you supposed to get new fresh air in if your lungs are already full of dead air?
These people can’t get air OUT.
Think of it this way. Your lungs are a balloon (this is a gross analogy, but just go with it 🙂 ). You fill the balloon with air (inhale), then let a tiny bit out (exhale). Next breath, you need to fill the balloon with air again because you need oxygen to survive. But still, you let out just a little. Over time, that balloon will get bigger and bigger, despite feeling like you need more and more air!
Of course it would feel like you need to inhale, because each breath in is so small since those lungs are already packed full. But what you really need to do is get that dead air out!
Getting a complete exhale, all the way to the bottom, gets that dead air out. For these individuals, when they feel that they have exhaled completely, they are often surprised to find that there was still more air in there to exhale.
Once that dead air is out, the ribcage and diaphragm positions can return to normal, and functional breathing can be restored.
This Ribcage is Too Small!
Some ribcages become rigid and small, collapsed in on themselves. They can’t get air in OR out. Their diaphragms can’t do the magnificent action they were designed to do, simply because there is no room to do it.
People with this kind of ribcage absolutely need to invite some expansion into their lives, but in order to do that, a diaphragm needs to be awakened and revitalized.
Achieving a complete, relaxed exhale triggers the reptilian brain to restore the breathing pattern that is primally wired within each of us.
Getting all your air out in a relaxed way is like a reset button for your nervous system.
When you reset in this way, you don’t need to try to get air in, it just flows in! You may need to do some specific exercises to open and expand your chest wall and lungs and bronchi (in certain places and directions, but I won’t get into all that here), but by simply getting your air out, you’ve already done an amazing thing for your whole system.
How does air just “flow in” after a complete exhale?
When you exhale completely, you let all the air out of your lungs. This creates a vacuum- air HAS to flow into that space due to the laws of physics- air will flow from an area of higher pressure to lower pressure.
It’s like when you open a hot oven and all the heat blasts out- the high pressure hot air must flow into the lower pressure cooler room. You don’t have to do anything the make the hot air flow out, you can’t even stop it flowing out! It just happens.
When we try to actively pull air in, we end up using accessory muscles, i.e. your neck. Just trust me on this one, you don’t want to breathe with your neck. Your neck has enough work to do already managing your head on the rest of your body. Using your ribcage to breathe is a much better way to go.
This Ribcage is Juuuust Right.
The human body is an amazing design! Sometimes it’s just hard to get out of our own way and let it do what it needs to do.
Allowing air to move out completely has so many more benefits than simply restoring ribcage and diaphragm position (although the restoration of those contributes to all these other factors I will share with you).
Benefits of Exhaling Well
Decreased heart rate (by stimulating “rest and digest” nerve fibers).
A more balanced inhale to exhale ratio, which reduces stress levels.
Reduced states of hyperinflation.
Improved digestive action of the gut.
So the question is, why wouldn’t you wan to exhale well?
Remember, exhaling is about softening, releasing, and letting go. Sometimes (or a lot of the time?) this can be harder to do than tensing, clinging, and holding on. So give yourself some patience and grace as you work towards a fuller exhale, and eventually a more expansive breath (and life!) as a result.
Here is a short video on how to get some air out, based on the primary breathing method from the Postural Restoration Institute, or PRI for short.
Join me in finding a calmer, happier way of being. Each week you’ll get an email with one simple technique that you can incorporate into your day-to-day life.
If you’re like me and just want something simple that takes hardly any time but really works to change your outlook and perspective, this challenge is perfect for you!
You’re In!
You have successfully signed up for the “Be Balanced” Summer Challenge!
Check your email inbox for your first week’s assignment (don’t worry, it’s not hard)!
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I’m looking forward to our journey of becoming balanced
Summer is fast approaching and what a whirlwind of a year 2020 has been already. There has been so much going on, viruses, economic downturns, political uprisings, and to top it all off…murder hornets!
No matter who you are, I am sure you have been affected in some way. And it is healthy to feel the icky feelings, because they encourage us to take action and make changes.
With so much going on, it is also helpful to have some strategies to find some balance emotionally, mentally and physically, especially when so many impactful events occur in close succession.
That’s why I decided to challenge myself to be more balanced this summer. Will you join me?
Each week for three weeks, I am going to put some energy and awareness into being just a little more present and a bit more in my body.
But the key to making it work, for me anyway, is that it has to be super simple! Because if it’s an elaborate 20 minute process each day, I’m probably not going to do it.
What I need are some things that I can quickly do throughout my day. And, in my experience, the little things we do all day are much more impactful than doing a big chunk of something now and then.
It’s like learning a language…
Usually, when learning a new language, you spend a few hours several times a week in focused study. But you quickly forget what you learned in that hour chunk of time and have to keep coming back and reviewing. This way, you will learn the language, but it will be slow and hard to apply.
But what if you were suddenly living in a country where they only spoke the language you were trying to learn? Over three weeks, you would learn the language much faster and in a much more practical way than you would if you were studying a book or taking a class a few times a week.
You are immersed in it, so you get it better and faster.
That is what I hope to do with this challenge! Each technique, one per week, will be simple, quick, and applicable throughout your day. You’ll be doing little bits all the time – it’s a DIY balanced lifestyle immersion.
It’s never a bad idea to learn how to be more in your body, and more at peace with your world. Especially now, the world could use a few more people who are acting from a place of calm and groundedness.
So, will you join me?
Sign Up For the “Be Balanced” Summer Challenge!
Join me in finding a calmer, happier way of being. Each week you’ll get an email with one simple technique that you can incorporate into your day-to-day life.
If you’re like me and just want something simple that takes hardly any time but really works to change your outlook and perspective, this challenge is perfect for you!
You’re In!
You have successfully signed up for the “Be Balanced” Summer Challenge!
Check your email inbox for your first week’s assignment (don’t worry, it’s not hard)!
Make sure you check your spam or promotions tab if you don’t see an email.
I’m looking forward to our journey of becoming balanced
Last year I was dealing with some health issues, and I felt that working long days was contributing to my symptoms. After much deliberation, I reduced my hours in hopes of finding some relief and more time for rest. At first it was great. I had more time to nap, rest, and do other things that felt restorative to me.
But it wasn’t long before I started filling that free time with more “stuff.”
Before I knew it, I had eaten up all that time with classes, volunteer work, and self-imposed deadlines and projects. I was just as busy (if not more so!) than before I reduced my hours!
Bewildered, I asked myself, “how did this happen?”
It was as if part of me could not STAND having time to be quiet and relax. There was an inherent guilt to resting, to having time that wasn’t “productive.”
All over again, I ended up giving away all of myself, to the point where it wasn’t sustainable.
It wasn’t my job that was draining me, it was my own inability to save a little of my power for ME.
You could even say that I was opening my heart TOO MUCH.
My life was missing a natural oscillation that is present in all of nature, that play of intensity and calm, of effort and ease.
It was seeming to me that my whole life, and the messages I was getting from the society around me, was all about effort and opening; doing as much as you possibly can…
without the bit about quieting, softening, and going inward.
Peter Levine, an industry leader in studying and treating trauma, describes this process as “pendulation.”
He believes that rediscovering expansion and contraction is the key to living a full and abundant life, with the ultimate goal of living a more expanded life.
Too much contraction is undesirable, this is established. Thinking too much, worry, fear, over planning, narrow focus (staring at a computer)… this creates a contracted state.
You can feel that contraction in your body- your neck, shoulders, face and maybe lower back become tense.
On the other hand, expansion is always desirable, and always the goal. This happens when you consciously relax your body, get a wider view (look out a window for 30 seconds and notice how your body changes), and settling into the present moment by noticing your breath and bodily sensations.
However, there is a trap that I call “FAKE expansion,” which is also undesirable and can even be harmful.
So what is “fake expansion?”
Over filling your life with STUFF and convincing yourself that it’s REALLY important (cringe, yup, that’s me!) at the expense of your own wellbeing.
Fake expansion is “opening your heart” in a situation where you feel exhausted and unbalanced.
It’s saying yes to so many things that you don’t leave any room to take care of yourself. It’s giving more than you have to give.
We do this ALL THE TIME. Sorry ladies, but women do this more than men, but the guys definitely do their fair share.
And maybe instead of asking how you can open your heart more, you should be asking “can you make space inside your heart for YOU before opening it up to everyone else?”
A.k.a. how do you keep some of that loving care and attention for yourself, so that when you give to and care for others, you can do it from a place of love and joy instead of burnout and martyrdom?
One way you can make space for your own heart is by physically changing the shape of your body to encourage more space in the BACK of the heart area.
Interestingly, as we open the back of our hearts physically, our decisions tend to reflect this and become more in support of self nurturing instead of over reaching.
Breathe into your Back
Our bodies are so fascinating. The sympathetic nerve ganglia, which is a fancy way of describing the nerves that make you feel anxious, stressed, worried, angry…generally amped up…live between the vertebrae in your upper back spine. So, if you are always “opening your heart” by pushing your chest up and trying to stand or sit up really straight and never going the other way (rounding your back) you’re going to have a heck of a time getting your brain and body to relax.
Not to worry! You can do a simple exercise to expand the back of your heart. Here’s how to open your upper back:
Re-Establish Physical Boundaries:
Another way to encourage healthy expansion is by re-discovering the boundaries of your physical body, which reminds the mind to keep a little of that loving energy for yourself.
By re-establishing the boundaries of our bodies, we learn to expand. Here are some ways to develop and be aware of the boundaries in your body. This embodiment of where you end and the rest of the world begins teaches your nervous system how to create healthy boundaries in your life.
Here’s how to establish the boundaries of your body:
Are you are needing to create a little (or a lot) more space in your heart for you, so that you can give from a whole and rested place? Or do you need to remind your nervous system what it means to have meaningful boundaries? Or perhaps you’re like me, and you really needed both.
Whatever the case, the fact is that our society drives us to do more, push harder, be better, all the time. And that doesn’t honor the law of nature, it doesn’t honor pendulation.
Try introducing a little more space for you into your life, and see if that allows you to expand a little more. We not only deserve some space for ourselves, we need it to be sustainable.
I used to hate hiking and running. I was always the slowest one, gasping for air, my neck and shoulders for some reason aching and killing me. I could really relate to the term “sucking wind.”
It just felt like I couldn’t get enough air.
Even when I would diligently hike and run more often, I never got a sense that I could breathe better. I was getting better conditioned, but it always felt very hard. I didn’t understand why, even though I trained regularly, friends of mine who hardly ran or hiked at all would zoom past me up the trail.
I thought, “there must be something wrong with me.”
After I had a pretty severe bike accident, my symptoms became much worse. Instead of just feeling out of breath, when I got left behind in the group my lungs would literally close up. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I might die. “Is this asthma?” I thought.
These days, I am the one zooming up the trail.
I surprise myself at how sometimes, even after I haven’t been training at all, I can easily hike or run without getting out of breath. I never get that feeling of my lungs closing up. Now it’s way more enjoyable to run and hike, and I look forward to it! I feel that I am getting fitter and can go further each week.
So what was going on with me?
Two things. The first was poor lung compliance and perfusion, a.k.a. my ribcage and therefore my lungs weren’t moving well, which didn’t allow me to exchange enough oxygen into my blood stream.
So, even though I was constantly exercising, my tissues weren’t getting the oxygen they needed. No wonder I always felt out of breath!
Turns out the reason my neck and shoulders hurt while hiking and running was because I was trying to pull air in with my neck! My ribcage, lungs and diaphragm weren’t working well together to pump air efficiently in and out, so my neck and shoulders decided to take over.
The second thing holding me back was trauma.
Since my bike accident, if I exerted myself too much, especially with other people around, my body would go into a state of “freeze.” I would check out mentally, close off socially, my lungs would seize up and I would have to sit on the floor and gasp until I could get up again. I think some people might call this a panic attack.
I know now that my ribcage mobility and my trauma were related.
Because I didn’t breathe well in the first place, it was harder for me to breathe and sense the fluctuating rhythms in my body.
Through a lot of trial and error, I eventually found that PRI techniques, in addition to working with a skilled somatic therapist, I was able to overcome both of these obstacles. And because of the huge impact it has had on my life, I now I help others do the same.
The way our bodies work is NOT like a mechanical machine.
We can’t pretend that a breathing issue only affects our lungs. We are constantly affected by what’s going on inside of us and around us, both physically and mentally. We need to be able to shift side to side in our lungs, our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. Stuck ribcages prevent lungs shifting. Stuck mindsets prevent bodies shifting. Stuck beliefs and trauma prevent our spirits from shifting.
The reason overcoming stuck patterns in the body and mind is difficult is because it’s about softening and letting go.
This means allowing air in and out instead of forcing our bodies to breathe a certain way. Releasing tension instead of holding on.
So many of my patients struggle with softening and letting go (myself included).
If I tell someone to tense a muscle, they can almost always do that. But if I ask them to soften and relax a muscle, it is much harder.
Similar to how our muscles become rigid, our minds can do the same thing. Here’s an example:
Someone asks you about an issue that you are strongly against. Very likely, you get worked up and talk fervently about all the reasons you think it is wrong. But if you are asked to see where the other person is coming from, and why they might feel the way they do, it will probably be much harder for you to give an answer.
This is just one way we become rigid- with our beliefs. It’s much harder to change the way we think about something than it is to keep thinking what we always have.
Can changing the way our lungs move help us overcome trauma?
Trauma is a state of being disconnected from our bodies. It’s a survival mode where there’s no room for feeling, because before our feelings were so terrifying and painful that we don’t want to risk going there again.
Trauma lives in our bodies, not in our thoughts.
We can’t think our way out of trauma. But we most certainly can feel our way out.
Sensing the breath is one way to sense our bodies again, which is the first step to overcoming trauma. We must learn to sense the ever-changing flow that is always occurring in our bodies. And at the center of our bodies lie our lungs, whose function is to manage flow. Flow of air in and out, flow of oxygen to our tissues, flow of byproducts back out into the world.
*Please note that sensing the breath is not appropriate for everyone who is working with trauma. So, if you find that noticing your breath feels uncomfortable for any reason, take a break for now and consult with a provider to help guide you in this process.
Our lungs remind us of how connected we are to everyone and everything around us.
We use our lungs to create air for our voice so that we can communicate with others. The carbon dioxide that we don’t need is expelled by the lungs to provide nourishment to trees and plants. And those very plants provide oxygen back to the bronchial trees within us.
“…we are all connected to each other In a circle, in a hoop that never ends”
(Sorry, couldn’t resist the Disney reference!)
Do You Find Yourself Holding Your Breath?
When we don’t breathe, we don’t shift. When we don’t let go, we become rigid. Letting air out is an excellent way to start bringing flow back into your body via the breath.
Most people think of the inhale as the main part of the breath. But an inhale is only as good as the exhale before it.
Think of it this way. If you didn’t get all your air out, your next inhale will not bring in much fresh oxygen! There’s just not enough room with the lungs partially full of old air.
Furthermore, if you don’t exhale all the way, your lungs and ribcage don’t get to move through their full range of motion. Now you are working towards rigidity in a pattern of half full lungs, and you are reducing the amount of flow in your body.
The less your ribs move, the less your diaphragm moves, the less massaged your gut organs get by the movement of your diaphragm, and you become more rigid in your digestion.
The less air you get out, the more your body shifts into a state of fear and tension.
Think of your lungs as a balloon. If you never exhale completely, that balloon keeps getting more and more filled with air, and you feel like you’re floating away from the ground. We need a sense of the ground to feel stable, supported, and, well, grounded!
One way to start creating more flow and learning to let go is by letting air out.
Notice that I didn’t say FORCING air out (which is what most of us tend to do). It’s about allowing the lower front ribs to soften down instead of cramming them down.
Here is a short video on how to find an exhale breath that will get your ribs and lungs moving again.
Think of this breath as a sigh. Like you’re getting into a hot bath, or arriving home after a long day and sinking into a nice soft couch. “ahhhhhhh.” After that first delicious sip of an ice cold drink on a hot summer day, “ahhhhhh.”
If you like, take note of how you feel before and after doing this breath for about 5 rounds of 5 breaths. Has the quality of your breath changed? How about the quality of your mind? Your mood? You may be surprised by the results.
To take this a step further and work on sensing your body in addition to sensing your breath, practice also feeling the places where your body touches the chair, and/or where your feet touch the floor. Notice if you’re tensing your shoulders or your face, and see if you can soften there.
More and more throughout your day, be aware of what’s happening in your breath and your body.
Just noticing your breath, and not even trying to change it at all, is an incredibly powerful technique. You can watch your body find it’s rhythm again.
*Again, If doing this makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, consult with a provider who can help you work through the process of getting back in touch with your body.
So if you’re like me, and you’ve been trying really hard to get better but things still don’t feel right, breathing and sensing might be the missing link.
Don’t underestimate the power of finding the flow in your lungs, your mind, your spirit. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I’ve made it to the other side. And I know that if I can do it, so can you!
If you want to work with me on this or just have questions on next steps, feel free to send me an email or leave a comment below. Derya@MyEssentalPT.com.
You know that feeling you get when a moment is so perfect you just want to capture it forever? And then there’s that sadness when you realize that the reason the moment is so perfect is because of its impermanence, and ironically any attempts to capture it would suck out all the specialness of the situation.
This is the inherent, beautiful sadnessassociated with the understanding of impermanence.
I had this feeling earlier today, just now actually, driving home from work. It was a warm, hazy afternoon and everyone on the road had their windows rolled down including me. As I came upon a view of the mountains, the perfect moody, twangy, blues-ey cowboy song came on the radio and I so badly wanted to capture that moment. My inclination was to pull over and look up the song so that I could add it to a playlist and listen to this song and have this feeling over and over…
But that’s not how it works. So, instead of wasting this perfect moment searching on my phone, I turned up the volume and cruised.
I feel this same kind of sadness when I’m walking my dog, Hazel, and see hundreds of flowers popping up in unexpected places. Initially, this makes me so happy, and then I feel sad because they’re all going to go away as the seasons change, and part of me wants them to just stay. But I also know that if they were around forever, they wouldn’t be nearly as delightful.
It’s at these moments that I recall the core teaching of the buddha: everything is impermanent, and constantly changing.
By understanding impermanence, I can let go of wanting things to stay a certain way, because I know that it’s not the true nature of things. And by embracing change, we can smile when the flowers come, and also smile knowing that they will go. Because red and golden fall leaves and later pristine white blankets of snow will take their place. Instead of fretting about missing a moment, I can simply enjoy it.
Embracing change is not something that comes instinctively to us, and something we have to work on.
That’s because change means uncertainty, and uncertainty is scary. But, when you really think about it, nothing is certain. And pretending that we can be certain only breeds attachment and fear.
How Fear of Change Manifests in the Body
Our bodies were designed to oscillate and reciprocate, they were meant to shift from right to left and left to right, from front to back and top to bottom, and twist and turn in all different directions.
However, most of us get stuck in patterns that come from the way we always do things, and (maybe more so) the way we always think things. We assume what the next day will be like based on the days before, and if there has been the same thoughts, movements and emotions in the previous days, the brain and body will expect more of the same. And if something is different, we become fearful, worried, frustrated or angry.
Take for example your commute to work. Everyday you drive to work, and you expect your car to run the way it did the day before. But if for some reason your car breaks down or doesn’t start, this is extremely upsetting! It ruins your day, because it’s not what you had planned, what you predicted, what your brain and body is comfortable with.
Think about all the things you do in your day the same way. Always crossing one leg over the other. Always crossing one arm over the other. Mousing with the same hand at the computer. Driving the same route to work everyday. Feeling stressed about the same things at work. Getting in the same arguments with your significant other.
All of these actions pattern us physically, mentally, emotionally.
The more patterned we become, the more resistant we are to change. The more resistant we are to change, the more we suffer when something unexpected happens. And the more our bodies become hardened into certain patterns that don’t allow us to alternate and reciprocate, the more we get stuck. Stuckness creates imbalance, disease, and pain.
So How do I Get “Unstuck?”
Well, that’s “easy.” Easy because the changes aren’t that hard to do physically, but the quotes are there because change is hard! Everything about the way your brain and body are wired is designed to resist change. Your brain wants to keep you “safe,” and patterns feel nice and secure.
To get yourself unstuck, try doing things you usually wouldn’t do! Sleep on the other side of the bed. Cross the opposite arm in front. Take a different route to work. Cook something different for dinner. Stay up later. Wake up earlier. Put your watch on the other wrist. Get creative and find ways to mix it up.
The main source of where we get stuck is through our ribcage and lung field. By shifting the way we stand and move, we shift the way we breathe, so doing any of the above helps with that. You can also help create more mobility, shifting, and alternating in your life by doing specific exercises for your lungs.
That said, don’t disregard the power of inviting more change into your life. It is a simple way to create new patterns and break up old ones. You learn to be more comfortable with change, and maybe even enjoy and invite it into your life. It’s pretty amazing how when you let go of how you expect things to be, you see all the ways that things can be.
Noticing Change Through the Body
The body is the gateway to observing the changing nature of our existence. Your breath is always in flux, inhale to exhale. The heart is always beating, sensations are always changing (even though it seems that a sensation stays the same, when you pay close attention you will notice that it is indeed changing in subtle ways). When we can observe change in our body carefully and thoroughly, we start to understand impermanence on a visceral level, which is where the real change takes place. Just understanding impermanence on a cognitive, theoretical level is helpful, but it is not enough to shift your body into a new state of freedom and flow. To incite real and lasting change, we must experience at the physical level, at the level of the body.
This 5 minute guided meditation will help you notice change in your body by practicing interoception.
So next time you find yourself feeling frustrated that something didn’t go the way you wanted, or sad that something won’t stay the way it is or was, remember that this moment can change you from the inside out if you let it. And to ease the pain of those moments, start making changes now! Try to switching up your routine whenever you can. Try something new and mix it up.
If you know me, you know I love to look at research studies. Sure, they have their limitations, but it’s really cool to see things we intuitively know are good for us proven under the scrutiny of the scientific method!
Take, for example, a recent review of the literature that studies the role of a positive outlook on pain. This study is from the Clinical Psychological Society in the Netherlands.
They found that a positive outlook significantly reduces pain, and reduces sensitivity to painful events.
For people with chronic pain or other painful conditions, they found that positivity can also optimize the effectiveness of other treatments.
Wow! That is pretty amazing. But if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking,
“Well, it’s pretty hard to be happy-go-lucky when you’re in pain! How am I supposed to do that?”
This is especially true if you have chronic pain that you’ve been dealing with for a long time. It’s hard to not let that get you down, and understandably so.
So how can we use this research to make change in our pain and our lives?
My prescription for you is this:
decide, right now, that you are your own first priority.
Yup, that’s right. Before you start thinking of reasons to put yourself second (or third, or fourth…or last), consider this:
When you get on a plane, don’t they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping other people? That’s because you’re not much good to anyone if you’re passed out in the aisle!
Taking care of yourself is like putting your oxygen mask on. You need to be okay before you can be there for other people in a meaningful way. Otherwise, you will end up resentful to those you intended to help, and/or you will burn out. If you REALLY want to be there for the people you love and the causes you care about, you MUST take care of yourself first.
There are so many simple, quick and effective ways to reduce your levels of daily stress, and thereby improve your mood and your outlook.
Some of the things you can do to boost your mood are quick reminders that you can include easily in your day on the fly, and others you have to plan for. Let’s take a look at both.
On the Fly Mood Boosters
I’m gonna give you some daily, stress-busting reminders to try.
Your job is to pick one or two that you can really do over the next week.
Write the one you pick on a post-it and stick it on a mirror, the refrigerator, your desk, or anywhere else you know you’ll see it a lot. You can even post reminders in more than just one place!
After a week, take a moment to notice if anything has shifted in you since you started this practice.
You might keep up with it as it is, change your reminder, or just modify yours a little. It’s your daily ritual, make it how you like it!
When you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself, “what is the most important thing right now?”
Pick a different energy- whimsy, joy, playfulness, or one of your own choosing- and call it into your mind and heart.
Remove extra minor stressors when you find them (e.g. driving just a little too fast…it’s weirdly stressful!).
Be willing to ask for help when you need it.
If you’re pushing yourself to complete a self-imposed task, ask yourself, “will this matter in a year?”
Take several slow, deep breaths before each meal.
Remind yourself to “slow down” more often.
Pretend that you’re at your “vacation job” or your “vacation home,” or in your “vacation car.” How would you act differently if this was exactly what you wanted to be doing, where you wanted to be? If you CHOSE this?
Plan Your Relaxation Time
While it’s good to have little reminders in the day, nothing can match the power of actually scheduling time in your day to do something to take care of you. And, for most of us, if you don’t schedule it in your calendar, it won’t get done.
So grab your favorite pen, your planner, and block out some time for yummy self care!
Here are some ideas you can choose from, or you can come up with your own self soothing experience 🙂
Planned Ways to Reduce Stress
Practice this Active Rest Pose for 5 minutes, a few days a week.
Practice self empathy for a few minutes, especially if you are feeling down.
Take a nap!
Go for a walk outside. If possible, try not to look at your phone (or not bring it if you can!).
Buy yourself some flowers.
Leave early for an appointment and enjoy the journey getting there.
Go for a walk with your dog or child, and let them lead the way. Stop where they stop, notice if you feel impatient, and let them teach you how to slow down and savor the moment.
Use all your paid time off!
Read a book (that’s not related to work or self-improvement!)
Eat your lunch outside, and JUST eat. (try not to look at your phone, read, or listen to something).
Plan a “frump day” where you stay home all day in your comfy, frumpy clothes and do whatever you feel like. Watch movies, do some stretching, bake some cookies, take a bath.
Write a handwritten letter to someone you care for and haven’t seen in a while. Use special stationary that you like.
Lie on the couch for a few minutes. Not to listen to a podcast, sleep, or text. Just be there.
Take a 5 minute stretch break at work- make sure you’re breathing!
Not all of these may appeal to you, but I’m sure some of them do! Incorporating some spontaneous and some planned relaxation into your day can make a huge difference in your outlook, your pain, and your overall experience of life.
After all, what’s the point of all this if you’re not enjoying some of it along the way, right?
Keep taking care of yourself, and the world will reward you.
May you find ease in your body! I’ll be there rooting for you the whole way.
Happy Spring! I have had much more time to contemplate and reflect during quarantine life, and am making the most of time at home with my hubby and doggie. I hope you are able to find some light in this uncertain situation, too.
I’m feeling inspired by the new season, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming! I’m excited for everything this season has in store for me and for you as well. In fact, I’ve gotten so inspired that I made an awesome challenge to rejuvenate your body and spirit in under 15 minutes a day (more on that below)!
Whether you know me from the clinic, or have been following along here on the blog, you’ll know that I am all about taking realistic small steps to finding peace and ease in your body rather than looking for a miracle cure.
I’m a firm believer that little bits of self care lead to lasting change. Why? Because it works.
Real change—in our lifestyle, our mindset, our breath, our lives—doesn’t happen all at once. If you’re anything like me, you love the intoxicating hope and energy that comes with creating big, amazing goals. But at some point, we have to take the first step!
Now that it’s spring, a time of rebuilding and growth, it’s especially important to go step by step!
As we emerge from our winter cocoon into a more active lifestyle, it’s important to do this with grace and gentleness so that we can be present for our loved ones, and for ourselves. It’s easy to go full force and then find yourself burnt out before you even really got started. Trust me, I’ve been there! When that happens, those exciting goals might lose a bit of their allure. Luckily, that’s where the small changes I keep mentioning come into play!
Every change you manifest in life (big and bold, slow and steady—it all counts) starts with a decision. You decide you want to go after or create something, then you start walking that path. The key is to start where you are and just begin.
There’s something magical in those first small steps, no matter how baby they are. I think it’s time to honor those small steps.
So, as spring sets in, I’ve got an idea for you: Instead of going full speed ahead, let’s reserve some of that time for self care, so that you can keep moving forward in a calm and centered way!
I’m calling it the Rejuvenation Revolution!
I’m not saying you shouldn’t go after all those amazing and fun things you have planned for this spring and summer (you absolutely should!), but it is time for those plans to share your brainspace with your wellbeing, today.
Not your wellbeing next month or next year—your wellbeing now.
I’m talking about finding simple ways to nourish and care for yourself today. About taking simple, doable actions that bolster you up rather than wear you down. You might be surprised what’s possible when you put the next 6 months aside and focus on caring for yourself in this very moment!
Not sure where to start?
Join me for my 5 Day Restorative Yoga Challenge! If you haven’t experienced the power of restorative yoga before, you’re in for a treat! It’s the perfect opportunity to choose one small thing you can do for yourself now.
Instead of huge lifestyle changes, we’ll simply be adding one simple, relaxing restorative yoga posture to our day for 5 days. No prior experience necessary! I talk you through each exercise with enough detail for complete beginners (but don’t worry, I don’t gab the whole time)! It’s a fabulous way to kick-start this more active season with a steady, consistent energy with a focus on taking care of YOU.
Because no matter what your big goals for this spring and summer may be, adding just one restorative yoga pose a day to your routine will set you up for success in mind, body and soul. It’s a small step you can take today towards creating a healthy habits that will sustain you all year long.
When you join the challenge, you’ll get 5 restorative yoga postures to help you regain energy, be more calm and focused, relax your body and feed your soul! Just because we’re taking small steps doesn’t mean we can’t go after big, lovely results, right?!
When you join, you’ll get:
Each day for 5 days you’ll receive one restorative yoga posture with a guided video in your email.
You’ll also get tips on how to make the most of each posture and modifications if you need ’em.
Oh, and did I mention that all the videos all take less than 15 minutes to complete?
